Don't Look Back
by lilyroselilac123
Summary: Cammie has graduated Gallagher Academy. As we follow her new life, more and more problems face her. She realizes that life is a lot more complicated than it used to be. Or maybe it was always that messed up. Maybe she just chose not to open her eyes and see it. Zammie. Please give it a chance. T for slight swearing and suggestive content
1. Chapter 1

_Did it ever occur to you that this is all a game? That one day, someone will end it and that will be that. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you are not the Queen, but the lowly pawn?_

The streets of Amsterdam were almost empty as I strolled down the narrow pathways. The trees were blossoming, and the slight breeze caused beautiful pink petals to fall on my shoulders. Everyone around us spoke something other than English, yet I could still understand every word they said perfectly. My partner could too of course. Being trained to be spies and assassins from the minute you could walk would do that to you.

I was hyper aware of everything going on around me. From the way that older man would grab his elderly wife's hands and whisper sweet words, to the way children ran around the streets, giggling with glee and innocence. Just the thought of children brought a slight pang to my heart. But I shook it away before I thought anything of it.

Being so aware also meant that I noticed the way our target would tap his foot against the uneven bricks and looked around inconspicuously. Any normal people would have taken no notice to this. But we were anything but ordinary.

We shared a knowing look, before he squeezed my hand. I quickly walked in the direction of our target. He was sitting on the bench we knew he would be on all along. I made my way to him and sat right next to him. Immediately, he looked over at me with alarm, but his features softened when he saw who I was.

"You are a very beautiful woman, if I may say so." He spoke with a heavily accented voice. I made sure to widen my eyes slightly in surprise before responding.

"Thank you. I get that a lot, but it feels… more intimate… coming from you. You yourself are quite the handsome man." I made sure my voice sounded sweet yet seductive, slightly sweeter and innocent than the one I use with Zach. His palms became slightly sweaty, and I was sure he was having trouble controlling himself. He gaped at me before raking his cold eyes up and down my body, licking his lips while doing so.

"In fact, why don't we head back to my house for a little while? If you don't mind." I finished with a suggestive smile while standing up, straightening my skirt, and holding my arm out. I led him away from the crowds and into a dark alley way, where I knew my partner would be waiting in the shadows. It was pretty obvious as I led him through it that I had successfully honey potted him.

As we reached a small alcove, where I knew my partner would be waiting, I let go of his hand. The next thing I knew, a bullet was through his head and he was dead on the ground, a puddle of dark blood pooling from him.

We disappeared before the crowds gathered around.

* * *

"So, babe, looks like we having the next two weeks to ourselves." Zach called from the other side of the room as I slipped off my heels and dress and changed into sweats and a sports bra.

"Yup. Two weeks of putting up with you. Great." Sarcasm dripped from my voice as I joked with him.

"Geez, Gallagher Girl. Way to crush a man's heart." He came from behind me and wrapped his arms around my bare waist.

"You're welcome," I whispered in his ear. He growled and we fell back onto our bed, limbs entangled. We laid there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, before Zach softly said,

"That guy was so jealous of me. I bet his last thoughts were, 'Damn, how did this insanely hot guy end up with such a beautiful girl? I wish I was him right now.'" I turned around so that I was laying on him.

"Ugh please don't remind me. He was checking out my butt the entire time!" I let out a heavy sigh.

"Well, you do have a pretty nice ass." I could see the infamous smirk starting to form, so I quickly hit his arm and delivered the Morgan glare. Which he was immune to.

"What? I'm your long term boyfriend, so I can say that!" I rolled my eyes and gave up. We fell into silence again, enjoying each other's presence.

"Can I still get some tonight?" And the perfect moment was ruined.

* * *

Why airports are always so busy confounds me. It's like nobody is happy where they are, so the want to fly away. I voiced my opinions to Zach as we parked the rental car and got into the one issued to us by the C.I.A.

"Just be happy we didn't have to go through security and got good seats. Otherwise, it sucks." Zach put a comforting arm around me as we pulled onto the high way.

I was ready to go back to our home. I needed the stability I hadn't had since my sophomore year of high school. I knew it was foolish, because no matter what I would never have that sense of security again. But I hoped.

"Are you nervous to see your mom?" Zach asked, concern lacing his voice. I looked at his gorgeous face and lightly shrugged before turning back to look out the trees flying by. To be honest, I was nervous. I hadn't seen my mother since the night of graduation, much less talked to her. Ever since what she did, I had no desire to see her again. Even after two years of space, I wasn't ready to confront her. Looking at the pine trees fly by, with my hand in Zach's, I couldn't help but wonder if I ever would be.

**Hey! So I am back. After a long ass hiatus, I have returned. I'm not sure if I will continue my stories, so if you are interested in adopting them, please PM me. Hopefully this wasn't awful. It was a little rushed because I felt like I had to get this idea out before I forgot it, so this was not edited in any way. My apologies. I hope you enjoyed**

**What happened with Cammie's Mom? Follow the story to find out! It will be revealed next chapter.**

**Please review!**

**Lilyroselilac123**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed, favorite, and followed. I am so grateful for all of you. **

_It's amazing the things that people choose not see. The things they ignore just to make everything seem perfect. The things people would do for an illusion of a happy ending. _

Flashback:

_The joy of graduation filled the air, creating a care free atmosphere. The Grand Hall was roaring with laughter and chit-chat, the noise deafening me. While Zach was taking to Townsend (in what looked like the most awkward conversation ever) I quickly escaped to catch some air._

_The adrenaline was slowly dying down inside of me. I no longer felt light-headed. In fact, the weight of the world was once again returning to rest on my thin shoulders._

_All of a sudden, I needed to say good bye. I needed to visit every single passage way to bid them farewell. This turned out to be a choice that I would both be forever grateful for and regret immensely. How was I supposed to know what would happen next?_

_I had saved the passageway I almost never used. It led to my Mom's room and allowed me to see and hear everything without being seen or heard myself. For many reasons, including respect for my mother's privacy, I had used it so rarely that there was a thick layer of dust and cobwebs surrounding me as I bent down. _

_What I heard next changed my life forever._

_"Rachel, what did you do?" Mr. Solomon asked apprehensively. I silently moved to get a better view. His blue eyes were cold and his face masked. No emotions were visible from him. My mother immediately straightened her back and stared him down. _

_"What do you mean?" She asked._

_"You know exactly what I mean." He replied._

_"Joe, baby, I have no idea. Please tell me what I did." I cringed as she called him baby. I had grown accustomed to the things they did, but for whatever reason it bothered me in that moment. He sighed and ran his hands through his greying hair._

_"Rachel. I heard things. Things that you told them." His expression was pained. He subconsciously took a slight step back from my mother. My gut was telling me to run, to never look back. I wish I did. I wish that I listened to my gut rather than the instinct that was drilled into me. _

_My mother also took a step back. Her hazel eyes widened, but just as quickly they narrowed._

_"Joe, how the hell did you hear things? I thought you said you would never get involved with them again. Did you break your promise to me? How could you?" Hurt laced her voice, but even I could tell it was fake._

_"Don't you dare turn this on me. That is complete bull-shit Rachel. I know for a fact that you sold Cammie's whereabouts and secrets to the Circle multiple times." My heart stopped for a minute, I think. I was grasping for a breath that was eluding me. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My head hurt and I felt incredibly dizzy. I had to lean against the stone wall to keep myself from collapsing. _

_She was silent as Joe continued. "You practically sold your daughter's life for money. Money, Rachel. You are disgusting." He spit the last words at her before turning on his heel towards the door. "By the way, if you couldn't tell, our engagement is off." Lose were the last words I ever heard from Joe Solomon before the wooden door slammed._

_My mother's eyes trailed to where he was just standing before she threw the picture on her desk at the wall. Shattering the pieces of glass everywhere. Just like me._

_Flashback complete_

"Cam, babe, Gallagher Girl. Snap out of it. We're back." Zach said next to me. Our car was shut off and our bags were already in our apartment. I shook my head slightly before giving him a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. Must've been really tired." He smirked in response and led me to the elevator.

"Those were a great two weeks, but I am ready to sleep in our own bed." He said, leaning back on the wall of the elevator. I leaned into him and grabbed his hand.

"Agreed. Traveling is fun, but so is actually sleeping."

"You better not be sleeping all night, because that would suck." Zach mumbled under his breath. I could barely hear him. I rolled my eyes and decided to let that one comment slide.

This time, Zach raised his voice so that it was clearly audible. "Are you excited to see your Mom? We haven't seen her in ages." I froze. I under no circumstance wanted to see her again.

"Umm, about that. Do you think we could put that off for a bit? Like maybe forever?" I quietly asked. He stiffened and pulled away.

"Why?"

"I just really don't want to see her."

"Cammie, that is ridiculous. She is your mother. Be happy you have a mother to see." I immediately felt awful. He never had a mother or father he actually wanted to see. Or that wanted to see him. His eyes became cloudy. I knew he was pissed at me.

"No, Zach. My mother is not a good person. Not anymore." He looked at me incredulously before stalking off the elevator and into our apartment room.

"Is your mom a terrorist? Huh? No? Then visit her. I am sure she wants to see you, and it would be a bitch move to not talk to her." He shouted at me. My cheeks heated up and my eyes stung. We had fought before, but nothing as big as this.

"Zach, she sold my secrets and locations to the fucking Circle! Joe said it himself before he was killed! She sold my life for money all through high school! So no, I never want to see her again." I shouted just as loudly back. His features immediately relaxed and I didn't know I was crying until he wiped the tears off my face.

"Tell me everything. Now." He kissed my lips lightly before pulling me into his lap as I told him everything that had happened that fateful night.

**Whew! Once again, that was completely unedited. No spell check or anything so sorry! Thank you for my reviews! Too kind. And please review if you read this story. I saw how many views (545) and two reviews! What's an extra 30 seconds? Once again, thank you for everyone who read this story! See you guys soon. Promise.**

**Lilyroselilac123**


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